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My Diagnosis
There is something immensely important I need to talk about. It's very personal, but I really want to get it off my chest. I have Asperger's Syndrome.
For those of you who aren't aware, Asperger's a "high functioning" form of Autism. I'm still as intelligent as most people, but there are some areas I struggle in. I have very poor social skills, I may miss obvious communication cues, I may repeat what I say over and over, I may sound monotone and seemingly act without emotion, I even have trouble making eye contact. I may also have an obsessive attachment to certain subjects, even unusual subjects. I'm clumsy, and have trouble with specific motor skills. I'll have one-sided conversations and only talk about subjects I enjoy.
In school I have a hard time focusing on particular subjects. In fact, it's greatly afflicting me in college, where I have difficulty taking time off something I may obsess over and focus instead on homework. I managed in high school, but College is a whole other ba
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Christianity and Free Will
First and foremost, this entry is dedicated to my Lord and Savior.
One of the concerns I've seen about my faith is in the issue of conversion. There is a misunderstanding I would like to clear up here. In one point of view Christians are "perfect" people on high pedestals forcing others to be like them. It rides upon an assumption that Christians have the "Self/Other" binary. While there may be truth in this about some Christians, this is not what the Bible teaches us.
I will start with the account of Genesis and the story of Adam and Eve. It's very well known, but let's take a closer look. God created the Heaven and the Earth, and saw that it was good. He created man (Adam), and made woman (Eve) out of the rib of Adam. This does not make Eve inferior to Adam, or men superior to women. Eve is flesh of Adam's flesh, and they became "one flesh" in their marriage. In that sense, they are partners and equals.
The point I want to bring up is that Adam and Eve were both given a soul, and the
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Verification in History
Before I begin, I will tell you in advance that this is dedicated to my faith in Christianity and in God. I understand there are many who don't share my beliefs, and that's fine. I will not force anyone to convert to my religion. It's only real faith if one chooses to believe of their own accord. There are two reasons I'm writing this. First, I wish to honor God, and second, I want to clear up some misunderstandings circulating around Christianity. Most of what I say here is from what I've learned in Church, I am not a pastor or have any authoritative position in my church. I also believe that the Bible really has only One author, God. Where he reveals His Word through the pens, minds, and hearts, of the people who wrote the books of the Bible.
Now for the message. Many see the Bible as a fable or some fictional nonsense, but that is because most people don't really grasp or understand the Bible and how it works. Take the Old Testament for example. From Genenis to around Esther, the Ol
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Strangers in a Strange Land
"Then Haman said to King Xerxes 'There is a certain people dispersed among the peoples in all the provinces of your kingdom who keep themselves separate. Their customs are different from those of all other people, and they do not obey the king’s laws; it is not in the king’s best interest to tolerate them. If it pleases the king, let a decree be issued to destroy them, and I will give ten thousand talents of silver to the king’s administrators for the royal treasury.'"
-Esther 3:8&9 New International Version (NIV)
In church, my Pastor taught us about the Book of Esther. When it came to this verse, he noted how we, as Christians, are a strange people to this world. We always have been, and we always will be. It really hit home for me because I'm a college student, and I've noticed how oppositional my views are with the World's views. And of all the religions and beliefs out there, Jewish and Christian believes tend to stand out the most.
I don't even need to be a h
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The Experiment Part 2 (Re: Rough Draft)
Awake again. What is going on? I’m in a new room, this time it looks like a clean, monochrome bedroom. My headache is gone, and I feel refreshed. In fact, I feel better that I have been in quite some time. Have I been cured? Is this some temporary cure or a permanent one. I don’t look any different. Wait… what’s this? I’m wearing a t-shirt that says “S: 2-50.” I’m wearing shorts to match as well.
Maybe they just cured me temporarily, or this was just the beginning of a month long cure. Something is off here, but I can’t figure it out. “Hello?” I call out, but no answer. I try the door, it’s locked. I try the window, it’s fake. If I really think about it, this room looks like a clean, colorless version of my room. I knock on the door, “Hellooo? Anyone there?” On the last knock, I hit the door harder than I meant to and it started to break. My fist almost broke through the wood entirely.
I just stan
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The Experiment (Re: Rough Draft)
It’s hard to focus. I can’t will my eyes to open, and I feel like I’ve only had 3 or 4 hours of sleep. Is my window open? Why do I feel so cold? Where are my blankets? I’m trying to get up, but I can’t move. I slit open my eyes, but close them right away, it’s too bright. I can’t think straight, my mind is all in disarray. Everything fades to black again.
Now I can focus better, but I still feel cold. I’m still drowsy, but I still can’t move. What’s going on? Is this a dream? If this is a dream, why do I feel this way? I always feel wide awake in my dreams. I open my eyes once again, and I can make out more. Everything’s white and blurry. My head starts to throb, but I feel more self-aware. This isn’t my room, I have light blue walls covered in posters of superheroes. I see none that here.
And what am I lying on. My bare back is on a cold, flat metal surface, but I’m tilted in such a way that I can see the wa
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I Have a Pen
I have a pen in my hands,
And a sheet to write upon.
I have a pen in my hands,
But nothing to write.
When my instrument works,
I can form mountains or springs.
When my instrument works,
I can make or change worlds.
When my paper is blank,
I can envision anything I want.
When my paper is blank,
It just stares back at me waiting.
So often I wish, and so often I do,
I want to write novels and poems.
I wish for my hand to work,
And I wish that the words would come.
When I only wish without the pen,
Only the page is there to mock me.
I can't expect a spontaneous sprout,
I have to water and nurture it.
The pen is my instrument,
But my thoughts don't follow it.
And when they do follow,
I'm left with an illegible mess.
Even as I type now I stumble,
From some form to free verse.
But don't get discouraged,
You'll find a way to overcome.
Let your mind wander and walk,
Stretch, swim, jog, read.
There you may be inspired,
The world holds countless seeds.
Think back to an old memory,
Or think about
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You have a Tumor
"You have a tumor."
Those four words will change a person's life forever. And it's always a serious matter. Even if you feel perfectly healthy, you may still experience that terrible fact. It's why scientists are looking for new cures and symptom relievers. I lost my uncle and two of my Grandparents to cancer. And although I don't have it myself, I still realize what a serious issue it is.
But the thing is...
We all have a tumor.
A sickness, a disease, an infection, a parasite. A darkness that's eating us all alive from the inside. Every human being that has ever lived, lives now, or will live has, or will have, this disease. It is the curse called Sin. It's often classified as evil or crime, but it exists regardless of what you believe in.
Every death, every disease, every lie, every adulterous act, every act of evil you can imagine has been a result of Sin. It defines all the flaws in our human nature, it causes brother to kill brothers and sisters, it causes sisters to kill brothers
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